The Uchiha's Second Curse
by Rinne-Kami
Summary: ONESHOT Drabble! This is why Assgay Uchiha- I mean Sasuke Uchiha doesn't make jokes. DISCLAIMER. Trademarked brands used for comedic purposes only, I do not own anything referred to in this fic. Branded names and celebrities used for comedic effect only.


"I can't believe they actually made you Hokage, Baka." Sasuke Uchiha didn't sign up for this, he had a plan all figured out. He would arrive with the reanimated Hokage and save the day, declare his desire to become Hokage, people would rejoice because he had saved the entire Shinobi world from destruction. When he returned to Konoha he would officially recommend himself for Hokage, the civilians would shit themselves with excitement because he was the Last Uchiha and vote for him, the Shinobi would vote for thimm because he saved their asses and it would be the least they could do to repay him for that. He'd become Hokage, paint the red parts of the hat black because he damn well could, then officially changed the title to Enkage, the Blaze Shadow because that was by far cooler. Then he would happily settle down and finally give some of those girls the time of day and begin repopulating his clan. There would be his children, Sasuke Jr, Sasuko, Sasuki, Sasuka, Sasuku, Sasukington, Sasubert, Sasucholas, Sasuvid, Sasumes, Sasutholomew, Sasumer, Sasuter, Sasusarah, Sasukate, Sasukelly, Sasusilliestnameicouldthinkof, so many Sasus.

And of course… Jim.

_INSTEAD_, when he returned to the village on his own free will he might like to add, he found that the villagers loved Naruto, he found that the Shinobi got wetter for him than that Hyuuga girl did when Naruto spoke more than three syllables to her. It took all of ten seconds for the entire village to slap the Hokage hat on his blonde had and drop to their knees with mouths open wide with anticipation for a glorious blessing.

"Hey Teme, I'm your Hokage now, you should show me some more respect!" Naruto bite back angrily at the raven haired teenager.

"Oh I do apologize… Bakakage." Sasuke retorted with a sneer, like hell would Naruto get a shred of respect from the Last Uchiha.

"W-What did you just say?" Naruto looked at him with utter disbelief and shock, was the blonde dumb and deaf.

"You're Hokage, and you're a Baka. You're the Bakakage, the Idiot Shadow." Sasuke explained the meaning behind his little joke, allowing Naruto's pre-evolved mental capacities comprehend the new and rather fitting title for him.

"No, not that, did you just make… a joke!?" Naruto looked at him with fear and disbelief still, was there something wrong with that?

"Yeah, so?" Sasuke responded with a shrug, why did the blonde idiot act like he had never made a joke before, he always made jokes, Naruto usually being the butt of them.

"Did Sasuke just make a joke?" Sakura head popped up behind the window of Naruto's new office, a look of similar distraught etched upon her face.

"Yeah he did." Naruto turned to her to look at her worriedly.

"Did someone say Sasuke just made a joke?" Kakashi's body appeared behind the second window to the Hokage's office, similar quite worried.

Sai looked at his new painted, one of Sasuke on stage in front of a crowd that were in hysterics. "This one is too unrealistic, Closet could never make people laugh." He eventually decided before flipping the page on his canvas, starting his newest commission as per request of one Hinata Hyuuga, considering Rinne-Kami may be pushing the boundaries of the T rating with the rest of this oneshot, Sai decided to paint this risqué painting slowly, allowing him to move onto the next character.

"I think I heard Kakashi-sensei say Sasuke made a joke." Choji looked over to the make shift Hokage office, a take away barbeque greasing his fingers.

"I just accidently read Choji's mind, he heard Kakashi-sensei say Sasuke made a joke." Ino spoke to herself, before realising no one was around, she shrugged and began continuing stuffing her bra, fuck Hinata's lusciously plump chest.

"Sasuke made a joke? That sounds troublesome." Shikamaru spoke as he overheard Ino speak through the walls next door, shifting the Shogi table around to move a piece for his non-existent opponent.

"Hmm, Sasuke made a joke. How do I know? A fly near the area flew over to me and told me." Shino leaned against a tree somewhere in Konoha. "I won't be left out of another fanfiction."

"What's that Akamaru, Sasuke made a joke." Kiba looked towards his large white dog after his barks of worry. "Nah, your hearing must be going off in your old age, how old are you now? 56?"

'_I can sense Naruto-kun's in peril. It's like he heard Sasuke-kun make a joke.'_ Hinata thought with a worry, before shrugging it off, continuing with her now perfected Jutsu; Gentle Fingers: Blasting technique to finish the job they started before she got the weird feeling. Kishimoto hadn't shown her _real_ dream in the manga, he had probably hoped to keep _his_ T rating with Shonen Jump.

"Yosh! It appears Sasuke has dipped into his Springtime of Punchlines!" Might Guy spoke ecstatically while he bounced past the makeshift Hokage office, he was currently training his Gluteus Maximus, and made it his goal to bounce around Konoha 100 times on his ass alone.

"Taken straight from my own TV show Guy-sensei!" Lee bounced next to him, thrilled to be keeping it up. "Hopefully he can keep his punchlines up when Sharingan Legends starts."

"Sasuke made a joke?" Tenten coughed out as she choked on the monstrous cock that was 'useless-Tenten bashing'.

"WHAT!? You're telling me Sasuke made a joke!?" Tsunade yelled, more pissed than a tree in a dog park, she sat next to Shizune who was more worried about taking alcohol off of the now retired Hokage. Finding out from Sakura, who had ran straight to her after the incident.

"You'll write it until you're hands get sore." Iruka shouted at a miscreant student, with yellow skin a red t-shirt, blue shorts and short spiky hair, making him write a certain phrase on the blackboard 5o times.

Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke. Sasuke made a joke.

"That was Iruka-sensei's voice." Konohamaru spoke after overhearing his former academy teacher yellow, peering into the academy with Moegi and Udon he saw what the boy was writing. "EH!? Sasuke-nii made a joke!?"

"I may have had a lack of screentime lately, but Sasuke made a joke?" Kurenai spoke as she held her baby to her chest.

"Sasuke made a joke!" The four stone faces of the former Hokage all spoke in unison on the Hokage mountain as they heard the phrase dart through every corner in Konoha.

"Whose making a joke out of Sasuke!?" Karin spoke angrily, searching for the chakra of the perpetrator, little did she know that outside of the manga chakra was seven pools of energy that could only be opened with the help of Guru Pathik.

"That's not what they're saying, their saying Sasuke _made_ the joke woman!" Suigetsu yelled at the the red haired girl in an annoyed tone, before turning to the guy typing these current words. Suigetsu grinned through the Microsoft word document. _'Keep it up Rinne, its golden, but changed it to M rated before you get in trouble!'_

_**Foolish little brother**_

The ceiling of Naruto's office exploded, Itachi descended from the heavens, two magnificent pure white angel wings attached to his shoulder blade, a golden halo spinning like a DJ's deck who had just dropped some serious beats hovered over his head. Angels sung in perfect harmony behind him making Itachi look and sound like the best thing since sliced bread as Kishi like to portay him as in the manga. "I heard you made a joke." A look of serene grace was etched upon Itachi's face, his arm was extended forwards, his two fingers extended towards Sasuke, ready to perform his usual poke to the forehead routine.

Instead Sasuke was met with a slap across his cheek, he looked at his brother with a surprised expression. "Baka." Itachi spoke sternly, with still a smile of brotherly, non-ItaSasu love on his face.

"I said one joke. How does that make me the Baka?" Sasuke asked incredulously, holding his still stinging cheek.

Itachi did not answer, instead began to re-ascend to the heavens, his two middle fingers were held up in Sasuke's direction as he disappeared slowly back into the light.

"Bad news Hokage-sama!" A horrified Konoha Shinobi burst into the room. "Ever since Sasuke made that joke, a humongous Tsunami hit Kirigakure, the entire village got washed away!"

"Oh shit." Naruto spoke in pure shock at the news.

"More bad news Hokage-sama!" Another equally terrified Konoha Shinobi entered the room. "Ever since Sasuke made that joke, Kumogakure got hit with a violent thunderstorm, the village has been burnt to a crisp!"

"Even more bad news Hokage-sama!" Another Konoha Shinobi burst in. "Ever since Sasuke made that joke, the ground beneath Iwagakure split apart, the village dropped into the centre of the Earth!"

"EVEN MORE BAD NEWS HOKAGE-SAMA!" ANOTHER Konoha Shinobi ran in. "Ever since Sasuke made that joke, Sunagakure was hit with a destructive sandstorm! The village has been completely obliterated! Gaara is dead!... AGAIN!"

"How can things get any worse!?" Naruto's head fell into his hands as all this news was bombarded to him.

"Terrible news Hokage-sama!" Another Konoha Shinobi entered. "Stewie and Brian Griffin had entered our world with their multi-verse device, ever since Sasuke made that joke the wormhole they created has fluctuated and distorted, Sasuke's joke is now affecting other universes!"

"Terrible news Hokage-sama!" Another Konoha Shinobi entered. "Ever since Sasuke made that joke, the heinous, psychotic criminal Deadpool has broken free from prison! He's broken through the fourth wall that protected the readers from over the top, super exaggerated characters! He keeps claiming he is a 60m tall Titan that has been sent to devour and exterminate all of Humanity!"

"Terrible news Hokage-sama!" Another Konoha Shinobi entered. "An ACTUAL 60m tall Colossal Titan has broken through the wall on the west side of Konoha, 5m to 15m class titans have entered and began devouring our population!"

"Terrible news Hokage-sama!" Another Konoha Shinobi entered. "Ever since Sasuke made that joke, Monkey D. Luffy accidently stumbled upon One Piece! Eiichiro Oda had to abruptly end the series!"

"Terrible news Hokage-sama!" Another Konoha Shinobi entered. "Ever since Sasuke made that joke Ross Geller stopped claiming he and Rachel were on a break, Friends just isn't funny anymore!"

"Terrible news Hokage-sama!" Another Konoha Shinobi entered. "Ever since Sasuke made that joke the power of Friendship isn't working in Fairy Tail anymore! Natsu's getting his ass kicked by whoever he's fighting this week!"

"Terrible news Hokage-sama!" Another Konoha Shinobi entered. "Ever since Sasuke made that joke a zombie infection has spread across the world, the infection causes people to eternally sing and dance to Thriller!"

"Terrible news Hokage-sama!" Another Konoha Shinobi entered. "Ever since Sasuke made that joke Gabe Newell has lost the ability to say the word three! How will Half-Life 3 get confirmed now!"

"Terrible news Hokage-sama!" Another Konoha Shinobi entered. "Ever since Sasuke made that joke Ash Ketchum's Pikachu spontaneously evolved into a Raichu! It's just not the same!"

"Terrible news Hokage-sama!" Another Konoha Shinobi entered. "Ever since Sasuke made that joke From Software updated an Easy difficulty setting to the Souls series! What's the point of playing them anymore!?"

"Terrible news Hokage-sama!" Another Konoha Shinobi entered. "Ever since Sasuke made that joke Testuya Nomura confirmed that Kingdom Hearts III and Final Fantasy XV will be in development for another seven years!"

"Terrible news Hokage-sama!" Another Konoha Shinobi entered. "Ever since Sasuke made that joke The Others and Dragons started appearing in A Song of Ice and Fire! It was the suspense to see them that kept me reading!"

"Terrible news Hokage-sama!" Another Konoha Shinobi entered. "Ever since Sasuke made that joke M-Preg became an actual thing, you're pregnant with Sasuke's child!"

"Terrible news Hokage-sama!" Another Konoha Shinobi entered. "Ever since Sasuke made that joke Matt Stone and Trey Parker decided to clean up South Park! They've censored everything! What's the point of watching it anymore!"

"Way to go Sasuke!" Naruto finally shouted out to his teammate. "You finally decide to make a funny and you destroy the fabrications of the universe and reality!"

"Hey don't blame me! Blame him!" Sasuke angrily pointed upwards back to the top of the web page to a black and white picture of the Rinnegan looking down at the words below, the name Rinne-Kami written in blue next to it.

_**What did I do? I don't own any of these things remember? **_Rinne-Kami responded in a silky smooth voice like sounded like Barry White's after he laid his lover down by the fire.

"Terrible news Hokage-sama!" Another Konoha Shinobi entered, even more distraught and terrified than the other Shinobi that had barged in.

"WHAT IS IT NOW!?" Naruto screamed angrily in frustration.

"Ever since Sasuke made that joke, the laws and restrictions surrounding Fanfiction have tightened drastically, soon fans of series won't even be able to write anything anymo-


End file.
